








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 104 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1604 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,847 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 935 | 33% |
| Smokes | 627 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 815 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 470 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $552,170 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HimmelHerrgottFahnenmast | 83% | 12 |
| #2 | valX | 78% | 9 |
| #3 | ll_Rel4x0_ll | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | GIGAmaS3ter [Ger] | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | l4w1 | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ll_Rel4x0_ll | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | GIGAmaS3ter [Ger] | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | l4w1 | 33% | 12 |
| #6 | Janlk | 20% | 10 |
| #7 | Magiic Melons ♥ | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Magiic Melons ♥ | 2 | 0.0122 |
| #2 | HimmelHerrgottFahnenmast | 1 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Janlk | 35 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #2 | ll_Rel4x0_ll | 29 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | valX | 24 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | HimmelHerrgottFahnenmast | 11 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | l4w1 | 9 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | +2.48 | 82 | 51 |
| #2 | ll_Rel4x0_ll | +0.26 | 32 | 52 |
| #3 | HimmelHerrgottFahnenmast | +0.15 | 59 | 60 |
| #4 | GIGAmaS3ter [Ger] | -0.53 | 60 | 60 |
| #5 | valX | -0.59 | 42 | 66 |





