








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 117 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
748 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,936 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 534 | 28% |
| Smokes | 347 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 643 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 412 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $339,843 of utility $221 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hoothly TTV | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | st3viray | 64% | 22 |
| #3 | kbk | 63% | 24 |
| #4 | weeble ツ | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | purple_penguin | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hoothly TTV | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | st3viray | 64% | 22 |
| #3 | kbk | 63% | 24 |
| #4 | weeble ツ | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | purple_penguin | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | weeble ツ | 2 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | st3viray | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kbk | 108 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #2 | st3viray | 69 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | Hoothly TTV | 38 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | purple_penguin | 22 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | weeble ツ | 19 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hoothly TTV | +3.37 | 73 | 64 |
| #2 | kbk | +2.24 | 69 | 69 |
| #3 | st3viray | +1.86 | 80 | 65 |
| #4 | Pufflezão | -0.29 | 60 | 57 |
| #5 | purple_penguin | -1.32 | 58 | 63 |





