








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
121 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 394 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 110 | 28% |
| Smokes | 78 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 86 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 120 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $102,160 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 51 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bugly69 | 50% | 10 |
| #2 | Ductaculas | 44% | 25 |
| #3 | regginald | 39% | 23 |
| #4 | Cheese Addict | 38% | 26 |
| #5 | the groper | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bugly69 | 50% | 10 |
| #2 | Ductaculas | 44% | 25 |
| #3 | regginald | 39% | 23 |
| #4 | Cheese Addict | 38% | 26 |
| #5 | the groper | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | regginald | 3 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | Bugly69 | 3 | 0.0161 |
| #3 | Cheese Addict | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ductaculas | 66 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #2 | Cheese Addict | 45 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | regginald | 41 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Bugly69 | 27 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | the groper | 24 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ductaculas | +7.99 | 87 | 69 |
| #2 | regginald | +1.26 | 60 | 66 |
| #3 | the groper | +0.01 | 50 | 45 |
| #4 | Cheese Addict | -3.05 | 37 | 53 |
| #5 | Ostrich_Lover267 | -3.91 | 23 | 34 |





