








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 173 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2518 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,681 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1325 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2031 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 953 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1372 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $924,016 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 470 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | G1BBS | 70% | 66 |
| #2 | Hot Cock Harold | 63% | 35 |
| #3 | Fake Zoomin | 58% | 38 |
| #4 | G O Rilla | 58% | 52 |
| #5 | mmmmm | 54% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | G O Rilla | 58% | 52 |
| #5 | mmmmm | 54% | 28 |
| #6 | Serquest | 52% | 33 |
| #7 | Dancho | 33% | 15 |
| #8 | Succulent4Skin | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | G1BBS | 6 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Hot Cock Harold | 4 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | G O Rilla | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Serquest | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Fake Zoomin | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mmmmm | 155 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #2 | Serquest | 126 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | G O Rilla | 109 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Hot Cock Harold | 77 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Dancho | 75 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | G1BBS | +5.62 | 80 | 15 |
| #2 | Hot Cock Harold | +2.60 | 70 | 51 |
| #3 | el | +0.85 | 65 | 54 |
| #4 | mmmmm | +0.85 | 54 | 57 |
| #5 | Dancho | +0.82 | 64 | 71 |





