








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1102 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,743 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 626 | 23% |
| Smokes | 602 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 712 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 803 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $484,032 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cdub | 52% | 25 |
| #2 | LockyLigma | 48% | 33 |
| #3 | Maakarini | 48% | 48 |
| #4 | FieldDayWon | 45% | 104 |
| #5 | Jimbo | 45% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | FieldDayWon | 45% | 104 |
| #5 | Jimbo | 45% | 93 |
| #6 | Zooter | 43% | 65 |
| #7 | IM GONNA TILT | 25% | 12 |
| #8 | Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ̶ﻝ | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FieldDayWon | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Jimbo | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Zooter | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | LockyLigma | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Maakarini | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FieldDayWon | 439 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #2 | Zooter | 379 | 0.28 | 7 min |
| #3 | Cdub | 161 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| #4 | Jimbo | 127 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | Maakarini | 121 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cdub | +3.21 | 55 | 67 |
| #2 | FieldDayWon | +1.04 | 54 | 66 |
| #3 | Zooter | +0.78 | 46 | 72 |
| #4 | LockyLigma | -0.10 | 40 | 55 |
| #5 | Jimbo | -0.35 | 49 | 57 |





