








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 250 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 462 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4918 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,596 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9612 | 36% |
| Smokes | 6320 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 6055 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4609 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $915,855 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1506 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Escobar | 53% | 172 |
| #2 | 𝕁𝔼ℙ𝕋𝕆ℝ | 51% | 57 |
| #3 | Oxorade_ | 51% | 185 |
| #4 | BFC | Organ Stealer | 49% | 266 |
| #5 | Jimbo | 45% | 282 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Escobar | 12 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | BFC | Organ Stealer | 9 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Jimbo | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Oxorade_ | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | FieldDayWon | 5 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BFC | Organ Stealer | 633 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #2 | Oxorade_ | 484 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #3 | Escobar | 468 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #4 | Jimbo | 381 | 0.06 | 11 min |
| #5 | FieldDayWon | 319 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oxorade_ | +2.46 | 61 | 72 |
| #2 | Zooter | +0.79 | 47 | 69 |
| #3 | FieldDayWon | +0.71 | 47 | 67 |
| #4 | Escobar | +0.27 | 53 | 60 |
| #5 | BFC | Organ Stealer | -0.03 | 71 | 68 |





