








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1616 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 519 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 137 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5783 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,938 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4451 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3046 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 5395 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 4046 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,381,771 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1795 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Trace | 49% | 43 |
| #8 | S1🔻 | 49% | 86 |
| #9 | S2 | 46% | 39 |
| #10 | Burning Cyclone | 44% | 116 |
| #11 | †_[A]rgon 乡 | 44% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PanDA | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | S1🔻 | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | fOXTROT1 t(-_-t) | 4 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | Burning Cyclone | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | S2 | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $™ | +1.66 | 75 | 57 |
| #2 | OutlawOw_ | +1.60 | 66 | 51 |
| #3 | S2 | +1.15 | 87 | 66 |
| #4 | tadaa | +0.93 | 62 | 76 |
| #5 | S1🔻 | +0.93 | 82 | 66 |





