








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 823 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 520 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7281 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,880 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4564 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5024 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4472 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3820 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,788,605 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 679 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Terminator | 66% | 82 |
| #2 | Terminator™ | 60% | 52 |
| #3 | Astro | 57% | 115 |
| #4 | Dexter | 56% | 80 |
| #5 | $™ | 54% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #18 | SCYTH3 | 46% | 69 |
| #19 | [F]raG_YOU | 44% | 78 |
| #20 | S1🔻 | 43% | 136 |
| #21 | PanDA | 42% | 36 |
| #22 | Auspicious | 41% | 39 |





