








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 18 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
334 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 934 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 232 | 25% |
| Smokes | 162 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 284 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 256 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $98,563 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mäpsy | 50% | 50 |
| #2 | MiuMau | 48% | 58 |
| #3 | Gwadi | 45% | 31 |
| #4 | PatFenis | 44% | 41 |
| #5 | TeekeriNerska | 40% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | MiuMau | 48% | 58 |
| #3 | Gwadi | 45% | 31 |
| #4 | PatFenis | 44% | 41 |
| #5 | TeekeriNerska | 40% | 30 |
| #6 | kolmonen | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MiuMau | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Mäpsy | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | PatFenis | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | TeekeriNerska | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mäpsy | 209 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #2 | MiuMau | 192 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #3 | Gwadi | 137 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #4 | TeekeriNerska | 84 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | kolmonen | 28 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MiuMau | +3.35 | 69 | 68 |
| #2 | Gwadi | +0.71 | 61 | 64 |
| #3 | TeekeriNerska | -0.84 | 53 | 63 |
| #4 | PatFenis | -0.91 | 35 | 39 |
| #5 | Mäpsy | -1.06 | 61 | 71 |





