








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 494 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 104 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2856 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,744 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2733 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2884 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2302 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1825 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,042,543 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Dirty boi / Poor boi | 53% | 139 |
| #10 | Somnax_ | 51% | 92 |
| #11 | Deswatem | 49% | 51 |
| #12 | Dipper | 48% | 31 |
| #13 | McLovin | 47% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Somnax_ | 404 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #2 | Dirty boi / Poor boi | 380 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | Sykkelblyant | 284 | 0.49 | 8 min |
| #4 | Ncls | 282 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #5 | McLovin | 249 | 0.10 | 7 min |





