








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 814 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 333 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




143 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6180 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,810 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1476 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1598 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 4679 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 3057 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,180,887 of utility $204 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 504 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | poufpafpif | 40% | 48 |
| #2 | KARM | 36% | 141 |
| #3 | Etyloppih | 28% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | poufpafpif | 40% | 48 |
| #2 | KARM | 36% | 141 |
| #3 | Etyloppih | 28% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KARM | 62 | 0.0218 |
| #2 | poufpafpif | 27 | 0.0280 |
| #3 | Etyloppih | 14 | 0.0201 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KARM | 571 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #2 | poufpafpif | 239 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #3 | Etyloppih | 19 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | poufpafpif | +3.23 | 73 | 54 |
| #2 | KARM | +2.17 | 69 | 59 |
| #3 | yeeaaaaaaaah | +1.45 | 66 | 46 |
| #4 | Etyloppih | -5.49 | 23 | 20 |





