








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
195 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 400 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 41 | 10% |
| Smokes | 95 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 110 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 154 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $201,131 of utility $250 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oskar | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | MiiraK | 50% | 6 |
| #3 | Larselele | 45% | 22 |
| #4 | Juncker | 42% | 38 |
| #5 | Cupcake<333 | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Cupcake<333 | 33% | 3 |
| #6 | L0rteSv1n! | 25% | 4 |
| #7 | KG | 0% | 2 |
| #8 | $hitkid | 0% | 2 |
| #9 | Arckilly | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oskar | 3 | 0.0124 |
| #2 | Juncker | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juncker | 147 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #2 | oskar | 36 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | Larselele | 25 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | MiiraK | 14 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | KG | 9 | 0.23 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MiiraK | +4.71 | 95 | 57 |
| #2 | Juncker | +4.39 | 88 | 73 |
| #3 | oskar | -0.31 | 64 | 62 |
| #4 | L0rteSv1n! | -0.57 | 66 | 78 |
| #5 | Larselele | -1.19 | 54 | 60 |





