








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 585 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 206 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4858 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,539 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3512 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2557 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1617 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1853 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,109,241 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 234 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ツ | 68% | 53 |
| #2 | 𝖘𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍- | 60% | 35 |
| #3 | nahtwo | 59% | 29 |
| #4 | OK I PULL UP | 54% | 37 |
| #5 | bonki サル | 51% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OK I PULL UP | 182 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #2 | Light™ | 159 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | [Unex] -NLT | 144 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | nahtwo | 129 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #5 | zaraza | 120 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝖘𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍- | +5.03 | 88 | 36 |
| #2 | bonki サル | +4.76 | 98 | 57 |
| #3 | OK I PULL UP | +2.98 | 91 | 68 |
| #4 | Herke | +2.19 | 83 | 65 |
| #5 | zaraza | +2.07 | 82 | 64 |





