








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 695 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 52 matches | 2,192 | |
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2887 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,404 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1758 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1973 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1595 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2078 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $541,541 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 289 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | V e r † Z u | 88% | 16 |
| #2 | THODEE24 | 81% | 27 |
| #3 | velluGsi | 80% | 10 |
| #4 | yoon | 67% | 27 |
| #5 | LauriD | 66% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kurahousu_ | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Benizakura | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | LauriD | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | THODEE24 | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | LinssiX | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kurahousu_ | 436 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #2 | LauriD | 373 | 0.27 | 11 min |
| #3 | LinssiX | 126 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Benizakura | 126 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | V e r † Z u | 70 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JakeZy | +4.85 | 91 | 66 |
| #2 | V e r † Z u | +3.71 | 92 | 72 |
| #3 | LauriD | +2.46 | 88 | 65 |
| #4 | yoon | +1.55 | 77 | 52 |
| #5 | velluGsi | +1.45 | 69 | 63 |





