










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1490 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 313 matches | ||
| Premier | 262 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Esplay | 2 matches | 1,950 | |
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 76 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11554 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,846 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6216 | 24% |
| Smokes | 6477 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6937 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 6216 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,718,326 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 883 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brydeboel | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | ph1L | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | maybe not =D | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Larzraz | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | ♚︎ ✗ ζτιяυαħ ツ | 4 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maybe not =D | 1044 | 0.17 | 21 min |
| #2 | ♚︎ ✗ ζτιяυαħ ツ | 601 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #3 | Brydeboel | 495 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #4 | Larzraz | 407 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #5 | fernando ubsalonso | 332 | 0.29 | 10 min |





