








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
655 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,862 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1270 | 44% |
| Smokes | 801 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 343 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 448 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $130,144 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | déx | 47% | 15 |
| #2 | inda | 46% | 26 |
| #3 | doctorp118 | 46% | 68 |
| #4 | frendly skadaddy | 41% | 29 |
| #5 | Inbred_Yoshi | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | doctorp118 | 14 | 0.0103 |
| #2 | inda | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Inbred_Yoshi | 1 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | Fonz | 1 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | doctorp118 | +2.77 | 68 | 57 |
| #2 | inda | +1.85 | 74 | 55 |
| #3 | Murdey | -0.17 | 63 | 72 |
| #4 | frendly skadaddy | -0.87 | 45 | 49 |
| #5 | Fonz | -2.16 | 31 | 48 |





