








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 625 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 385 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3429 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,309 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5060 | 21% |
| Smokes | 6304 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5795 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 7150 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,179,620 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 208 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Cr3eDeX | 38% | 39 |
| #8 | ✪Lupo | 32% | 131 |
| #9 | Dinge | 31% | 65 |
| #10 | FarmandGram | 28% | 39 |
| #11 | L4mpe | 20% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | O.G.P - Snurrebassen | 28 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | FrederikWors凸(¬‿¬)凸 | 14 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | GuFFe | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | ✪Lupo | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | flow | 2 | 0.0016 |





