








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 69 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
563 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 949 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 147 | 15% |
| Smokes | 313 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 242 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 247 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $198,616 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | utro | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | FluffyPanda | 56% | 39 |
| #3 | EETU | 53% | 47 |
| #4 | Kiisseli #Hype | 53% | 36 |
| #5 | JuCI | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | EETU | 53% | 47 |
| #4 | Kiisseli #Hype | 53% | 36 |
| #5 | JuCI | 45% | 22 |
| #6 | oskari | 44% | 16 |
| #7 | jeeden | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EETU | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | FluffyPanda | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | JuCI | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | utro | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | oskari | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JuCI | 140 | 0.28 | 5 min |
| #2 | EETU | 100 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | Kiisseli #Hype | 90 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | FluffyPanda | 75 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | utro | 47 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JuCI | +1.87 | 78 | 74 |
| #2 | EETU | +0.88 | 73 | 59 |
| #3 | Tofi | +0.79 | 67 | 53 |
| #4 | jeeden | +0.47 | 78 | 70 |
| #5 | FluffyPanda | -0.47 | 46 | 72 |





