








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 352 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 247 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Wingman | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3887 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,928 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3635 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2748 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2320 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2225 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $677,657 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 76 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DNPZZ | 58% | 96 |
| #2 | Grapejuice | 53% | 488 |
| #3 | Purple Yeti | 53% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DNPZZ | 58% | 96 |
| #2 | Grapejuice | 53% | 488 |
| #3 | Purple Yeti | 53% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grapejuice | 12 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | DNPZZ | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Purple Yeti | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grapejuice | 201 | 0.02 | 5 min |
| #2 | DNPZZ | 186 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Purple Yeti | 58 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grapejuice | +1.81 | 77 | 35 |
| #2 | Purple Yeti | +0.61 | 67 | 36 |
| #3 | JelQ_Machine (Movement God) | +0.35 | 69 | 45 |
| #4 | DNPZZ | -3.61 | 31 | 40 |





