








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 169 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
851 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,411 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 843 | 35% |
| Smokes | 677 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 360 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 531 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $351,756 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 216 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phinrodas♿ | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | Tobikha | 52% | 58 |
| #3 | didjef | 51% | 67 |
| #4 | nownz | 50% | 74 |
| #5 | .cryptexx<3-dA-k1nG -iwnl- | 45% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phinrodas♿ | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | Tobikha | 52% | 58 |
| #3 | didjef | 51% | 67 |
| #4 | nownz | 50% | 74 |
| #5 | .cryptexx<3-dA-k1nG -iwnl- | 45% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tobikha | 10 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | nownz | 7 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | .cryptexx<3-dA-k1nG -iwnl- | 6 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | didjef | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | phinrodas♿ | 1 | 0.0089 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | didjef | 379 | 0.28 | 11 min |
| #2 | nownz | 305 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #3 | .cryptexx<3-dA-k1nG -iwnl- | 208 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | Tobikha | 196 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #5 | phinrodas♿ | 24 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -T0mm | +0.72 | 88 | 57 |
| #2 | didjef | +0.56 | 79 | 63 |
| #3 | Tobikha | +0.39 | 63 | 59 |
| #4 | nownz | -0.22 | 56 | 70 |
| #5 | .cryptexx<3-dA-k1nG -iwnl- | -0.37 | 63 | 72 |





