








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Faceit | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1894 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,108 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2049 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1556 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1942 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1561 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $252,641 of utility $53 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr Manchello 💤💤💤 | 57% | 68 |
| #2 | koch666 | 57% | 30 |
| #3 | neverfive666 | 53% | 64 |
| #4 | Azarill | 53% | 40 |
| #5 | nihilist | 52% | 144 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr Manchello 💤💤💤 | 57% | 68 |
| #2 | koch666 | 57% | 30 |
| #3 | neverfive666 | 53% | 64 |
| #4 | Azarill | 53% | 40 |
| #5 | nihilist | 52% | 144 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nihilist | 10 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Mr Manchello 💤💤💤 | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | neverfive666 | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | koch666 | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Azarill | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | neverfive666 | 380 | 0.28 | 11 min |
| #2 | nihilist | 340 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #3 | Mr Manchello 💤💤💤 | 112 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Azarill | 104 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | koch666 | 64 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | koch666 | +3.07 | 75 | 65 |
| #2 | Azarill | +1.37 | 63 | 66 |
| #3 | neverfive666 | +0.94 | 71 | 77 |
| #4 | Mr Manchello 💤💤💤 | +0.66 | 64 | 67 |
| #5 | DeagZilla | +0.63 | 65 | 56 |





