








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 828 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 361 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 111 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3396 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,890 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3156 | 20% |
| Smokes | 5215 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3634 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3885 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,001,924 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 192 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | himy^ | 65% | 34 |
| #2 | IWANNADIE | 64% | 42 |
| #3 | iB.o.Bi | 49% | 93 |
| #4 | Хидетака Миязаки | 49% | 90 |
| #5 | Prejda | 49% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knqz Vampir | 16 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | corporal domingo | 6 | 0.0092 |
| #3 | Хидетака Миязаки | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | iB.o.Bi | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Prejda | 3 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prejda | 225 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | Хидетака Миязаки | 222 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | Knqz Vampir | 151 | 0.02 | 5 min |
| #4 | iB.o.Bi | 138 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | corporal domingo | 67 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knqz Vampir | +1.79 | 65 | 51 |
| #2 | Prejda | +0.02 | 52 | 62 |
| #3 | himy^ | -0.47 | 32 | 41 |
| #4 | IWANNADIE | -0.53 | 66 | 47 |
| #5 | Хидео Коджима | -0.72 | 46 | 67 |





