








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1298 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,190 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 659 | 21% |
| Smokes | 601 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 811 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1119 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $390,633 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ksigerstam | 63% | 59 |
| #2 | Blomst | 53% | 109 |
| #3 | KeO | 52% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ksigerstam | 63% | 59 |
| #2 | Blomst | 53% | 109 |
| #3 | KeO | 52% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ksigerstam | 6 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Blomst | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | KeO | 4 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blomst | 287 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #2 | ksigerstam | 186 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | KeO | 124 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KeO | +1.71 | 76 | 53 |
| #2 | ksigerstam | +1.48 | 76 | 54 |
| #3 | areet | +0.67 | 86 | 47 |
| #4 | Blomst | -0.17 | 69 | 59 |





