








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 471 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 159 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 80 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3453 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,251 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5752 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3176 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3830 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3493 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,600,691 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 532 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eddu | 63% | 30 |
| #2 | McCree | 56% | 61 |
| #3 | ReG | 55% | 42 |
| #4 | Iluri | 54% | 41 |
| #5 | Jokedos | 52% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Jokedos | 52% | 29 |
| #6 | sex haver | 48% | 105 |
| #7 | Hahayes | 46% | 112 |
| #8 | Zabu | 45% | 132 |
| #9 | Manky | 45% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hahayes | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | sex haver | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | ReG | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Zabu | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Manky | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zabu | 510 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #2 | sex haver | 504 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #3 | Hahayes | 305 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | McCree | 222 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #5 | Jokedos | 189 | 0.30 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReG | +2.68 | 86 | 67 |
| #2 | Iluri | +2.61 | 69 | 76 |
| #3 | Jokedos | +1.74 | 69 | 63 |
| #4 | Zabu | +1.13 | 72 | 65 |
| #5 | McCree | +0.69 | 68 | 69 |





