








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 439 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 70 matches | ||
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4406 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,409 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3181 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4451 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1664 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 3113 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,455,429 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 279 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pvt. Parts | 69% | 35 |
| #2 | magnus | 65% | 23 |
| #3 | Sigma Sulawesi | 63% | 32 |
| #4 | Gate Keeping Happiness | 61% | 23 |
| #5 | Moth Enjoyer | 61% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goon | 17 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Goon | 12 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | The Best Gamer Ever | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Pvt. Parts | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | Sigma Sulawesi | 3 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goon | 685 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #2 | Goon | 248 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | _W00D_ | 164 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | The Best Gamer Ever | 136 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Spooky | 130 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beebskin##fedora | +3.88 | 57 | 63 |
| #2 | Pvt. Parts | +3.00 | 57 | 50 |
| #3 | Gate Keeping Happiness | +2.27 | 74 | 52 |
| #4 | Goon | +2.06 | 68 | 64 |
| #5 | Frephwepio | +1.66 | 46 | 64 |





