








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 18 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1878 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,127 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1462 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1195 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1214 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1256 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $173,512 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grader | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | LordZoft | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | N1ck_134 | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | Bman Little Bad Wolf | 63% | 8 |
| #5 | Snickarn | 62% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snickarn | 2 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Bman Little Bad Wolf | 2 | 0.0131 |
| #3 | N1ck_134 | 1 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Hunten | 1 | 0.0077 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snickarn | 118 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #2 | REDRUM | 48 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #3 | N1ck_134 | 45 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #4 | Hunten | 30 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #5 | LordZoft | 11 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meanmachine | +4.93 | 73 | 67 |
| #2 | N1ck_134 | +4.49 | 72 | 67 |
| #3 | Snickarn | +1.73 | 71 | 67 |
| #4 | Hunten | +0.46 | 80 | 67 |
| #5 | LordZoft | -0.29 | 5 | 58 |





