








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 243 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 137 matches | ||
| Wingman | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1613 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,552 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 605 | 11% |
| Smokes | 1783 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1764 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1400 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $780,815 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Ducci | 56% | 272 |
| #3 | Logic | 52% | 200 |
| #4 | ๖Z!ON๖ | GG | 50% | 20 |
| #5 | Towelie is Stoned | 44% | 16 |
| #6 | awes0mej0ke | 43% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ducci | 12 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Logic | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | awes0mej0ke | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Logic | 519 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #2 | Ducci | 411 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #3 | awes0mej0ke | 76 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Towelie is Stoned | 57 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | ๖Z!ON๖ | GG | 14 | 0.03 | 0 min |





