








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 321 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 179 matches | ||
| Wingman | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2488 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,288 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3499 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3102 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3128 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2559 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $938,919 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 423 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Ducci | 56% | 237 |
| #3 | Joker | 52% | 200 |
| #4 | awes0mej0ke | 51% | 173 |
| #5 | Towelie is Stoned | 50% | 34 |
| #6 | ๖Z!ON๖ | GG | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ducci | 12 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Joker | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | awes0mej0ke | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Towelie is Stoned | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ducci | 439 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #2 | awes0mej0ke | 206 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | Joker | 129 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #4 | Towelie is Stoned | 113 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | ๖Z!ON๖ | GG | 11 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ducci | +6.09 | 95 | 64 |
| #2 | awes0mej0ke | +0.96 | 84 | 53 |
| #3 | Towelie is Stoned | -1.24 | 59 | 51 |
| #4 | Logic | -1.81 | 63 | 64 |
| #5 | Joker | -2.00 | 53 | 39 |





