








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 239 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2131 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,084 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1520 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1613 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 830 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 2121 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $888,706 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ๐๐ | 49% | 51 |
| #6 | TheRodFatherr | 47% | 17 |
| #7 | Hash Enjoyerใ | 47% | 49 |
| #8 | Leukemia_Skywalker | 41% | 17 |
| #9 | GreySkull | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wrenchfury | 13 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Nash | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | ๐๐ | 7 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | Jel King | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Hash Enjoyerใ | 2 | 0.0021 |





