








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 136 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Jura | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1573 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,726 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1911 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1547 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 987 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1281 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $305,810 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ALFI | 62% | 93 |
| #2 | fux. | 57% | 136 |
| #3 | MAZL | 57% | 97 |
| #4 | Tilly | 55% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ALFI | 62% | 93 |
| #2 | fux. | 57% | 136 |
| #3 | MAZL | 57% | 97 |
| #4 | Tilly | 55% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tilly | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | fux. | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | MAZL | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | ALFI | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tilly | 167 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | fux. | 166 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | MAZL | 146 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | ALFI | 98 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fux. | +1.80 | 74 | 57 |
| #2 | FAZL | +0.78 | 73 | 63 |
| #3 | Tilly | +0.75 | 73 | 64 |
| #4 | ALFI | +0.43 | 69 | 65 |
| #5 | MAZL | -1.37 | 49 | 66 |





