








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 54 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Jura | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
699 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,517 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 841 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1063 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 881 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 732 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $282,491 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fux. | 61% | 83 |
| #2 | ALFI | 61% | 69 |
| #3 | FAZL | 57% | 97 |
| #4 | Tilly | 56% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fux. | 61% | 83 |
| #2 | ALFI | 61% | 69 |
| #3 | FAZL | 57% | 97 |
| #4 | Tilly | 56% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FAZL | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Tilly | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | fux. | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | ALFI | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FAZL | 330 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | Tilly | 127 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | fux. | 120 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | ALFI | 72 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fux. | +2.17 | 74 | 59 |
| #2 | FAZL | +1.07 | 75 | 66 |
| #3 | ALFI | +0.87 | 71 | 65 |
| #4 | Tilly | +0.66 | 72 | 64 |
| #5 | MAZL | -1.46 | 50 | 65 |





