








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 627 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 144 matches | ||
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3151 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,297 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2081 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2869 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2387 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2960 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $728,895 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 108 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | krayg | 65% | 79 |
| #2 | silkyfresh | 64% | 84 |
| #3 | muggel | 63% | 49 |
| #4 | Elúné | 63% | 54 |
| #5 | 乇th4n™ | 58% | 106 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | muggel | 63% | 49 |
| #4 | Elúné | 63% | 54 |
| #5 | 乇th4n™ | 58% | 106 |
| #6 | yxn | 55% | 31 |
| #7 | Voltus | 53% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 乇th4n™ | 12 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | krayg | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Elúné | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | muggel | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | yxn | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 乇th4n™ | 482 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #2 | silkyfresh | 307 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | krayg | 249 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | muggel | 243 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #5 | yxn | 134 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | muggel | +2.75 | 83 | 68 |
| #2 | krayg | +2.32 | 91 | 59 |
| #3 | romeo | +1.59 | 85 | 61 |
| #4 | silkyfresh | +1.11 | 82 | 69 |
| #5 | yxn | -0.26 | 72 | 66 |





