








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1132 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,380 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1899 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1424 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1582 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1475 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $154,297 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 112 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elúné | 67% | 48 |
| #2 | yxn | 65% | 26 |
| #3 | krayg | 61% | 57 |
| #4 | heavyDog | 58% | 106 |
| #5 | Waddriguez | 53% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | heavyDog | 20 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | krayg | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Elúné | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Voltus | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Waddriguez | 1 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | heavyDog | 313 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | krayg | 186 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | yxn | 107 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | Elúné | 103 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Voltus | 23 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | krayg | +2.54 | 87 | 55 |
| #2 | heavyDog | +2.35 | 83 | 62 |
| #3 | 乇th4n | +0.34 | 58 | 66 |
| #4 | yxn | +0.18 | 63 | 65 |
| #5 | Waddriguez | -0.28 | 49 | 22 |





