








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2786 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,414 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2185 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1960 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1694 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1575 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $672,285 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | uwuu | 53% | 49 |
| #6 | Lostwhale | 51% | 211 |
| #7 | WCLEGOMASTER | 47% | 78 |
| #8 | ThundR | 45% | 47 |
| #9 | oogways slave | 28% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WCLEGOMASTER | 7 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | hairbear | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Lostwhale | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Shellycooper | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | uwuu | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lostwhale | 341 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #2 | WCLEGOMASTER | 316 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #3 | hairbear | 286 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | ThundR | 206 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #5 | oogways slave | 174 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hairbear | +3.79 | 89 | 51 |
| #2 | uwuu | +2.23 | 63 | 62 |
| #3 | 𝕟𝕠 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕖 | +1.92 | 78 | 60 |
| #4 | ThundR | +1.77 | 80 | 60 |
| #5 | Shellycooper | -0.17 | 78 | 38 |





