








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 184 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 265 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4076 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,892 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2571 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2851 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3588 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2882 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $739,659 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 135 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iiJOHNN | 56% | 25 |
| #2 | hairbear | 55% | 31 |
| #3 | Lostwhale | 54% | 68 |
| #4 | 𝕟𝕠 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕖 | 53% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iiJOHNN | 56% | 25 |
| #2 | hairbear | 55% | 31 |
| #3 | Lostwhale | 54% | 68 |
| #4 | 𝕟𝕠 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕖 | 53% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕟𝕠 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕖 | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Lostwhale | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | iiJOHNN | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕟𝕠 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕖 | 130 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | Lostwhale | 102 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | iiJOHNN | 67 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | hairbear | 56 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uwuu | +2.46 | 64 | 57 |
| #2 | hairbear | +1.69 | 90 | 57 |
| #3 | 𝕟𝕠 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕖 | +0.92 | 70 | 67 |
| #4 | iiJOHNN | -0.89 | 74 | 59 |
| #5 | Lostwhale | -3.11 | 39 | 61 |





