








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 634 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Renown | 196 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3455 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,753 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2711 | 16% |
| Smokes | 5199 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4877 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3966 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $667,358 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 88 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | agapimenus22 | 64% | 67 |
| #2 | canttouchme9 | 54% | 138 |
| #3 | MEW2 | 54% | 116 |
| #4 | ottawa | 54% | 371 |
| #5 | Om1nouS | 53% | 149 |





