








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 326 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 185 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1811 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,684 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1394 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1042 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2119 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1129 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $897,185 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | KonnaKolo | 49% | 37 |
| #11 | ISOkalle37 | 47% | 55 |
| #12 | HÖKÖ© | 45% | 49 |
| #13 | Perry | 45% | 29 |
| #14 | KiimaKanki | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PiriPoltto | 12 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | 鬼 | 9 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | HÖKÖ© | 6 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | ISOkalle37 | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | KiimaKanki | 4 | 0.0096 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ISOkalle37 | 338 | 0.29 | 9 min |
| #2 | 鬼 | 274 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #3 | HÖKÖ© | 270 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #4 | make | 259 | 0.31 | 8 min |
| #5 | PiriPoltto | 185 | 0.12 | 5 min |





