








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 500 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 221 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1986 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,437 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3302 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2983 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3208 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2944 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $510,433 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 269 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jyffe | 79% | 14 |
| #2 | Jyrionhomo | 62% | 26 |
| #3 | Villgee | 58% | 43 |
| #4 | ✞Hekab0b♛ | 53% | 38 |
| #5 | Perry | 50% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Weckis | 47% | 17 |
| #9 | Kampela | 45% | 49 |
| #10 | Rutale | 45% | 78 |
| #11 | PiriPoltto | 45% | 29 |
| #12 | ISOkalle37 | 43% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PiriPoltto | 7 | 0.0110 |
| #2 | 鬼 | 5 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | make | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Jyrionhomo | 4 | 0.0076 |
| #5 | Rutale | 3 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | make | 541 | 0.28 | 17 min |
| #2 | Perry | 334 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #3 | ISOkalle37 | 211 | 0.28 | 5 min |
| #4 | 鬼 | 181 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #5 | Villgee | 131 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jyffe | +4.52 | 80 | 77 |
| #2 | make | +1.97 | 63 | 78 |
| #3 | Perry | +1.31 | 69 | 67 |
| #4 | Villgee | +1.28 | 63 | 71 |
| #5 | ✞Hekab0b♛ | +1.08 | 75 | 65 |





