








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 233 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 167 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2951 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,592 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2830 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2711 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2375 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1676 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,087,098 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 111 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arkham | 62% | 102 |
| #2 | JEREMY | 61% | 103 |
| #3 | Razorback | 57% | 28 |
| #4 | BoBo the Diaper bandit | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | Gibbyson72 | 49% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arkham | 62% | 102 |
| #2 | JEREMY | 61% | 103 |
| #3 | Razorback | 57% | 28 |
| #4 | BoBo the Diaper bandit | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | Gibbyson72 | 49% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JEREMY | 10 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Gibbyson72 | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Razorback | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | BoBo the Diaper bandit | 2 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | Arkham | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JEREMY | 194 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | Arkham | 153 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | BoBo the Diaper bandit | 86 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| #4 | Gibbyson72 | 84 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Razorback | 61 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elac | +3.99 | 76 | 71 |
| #2 | BoBo the Diaper bandit | +2.48 | 78 | 51 |
| #3 | Razorback | +0.50 | 50 | 53 |
| #4 | JEREMY | -2.54 | 41 | 49 |
| #5 | Gibbyson72 | -2.60 | 33 | 42 |





