








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 146 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 166 matches | ||
| Faceit | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2794 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,765 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 729 | 13% |
| Smokes | 2131 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1876 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1029 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,246,656 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 275 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dev | 55% | 165 |
| #2 | Con D. Oriano | 53% | 19 |
| #3 | Con | 46% | 28 |
| #4 | benchito☆ | 43% | 47 |
| #5 | Rapidzz | 42% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Con D. Oriano | 53% | 19 |
| #3 | Con | 46% | 28 |
| #4 | benchito☆ | 43% | 47 |
| #5 | Rapidzz | 42% | 60 |
| #6 | JS-_- | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dev | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Rapidzz | 7 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Con | 3 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | benchito☆ | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dev | 616 | 0.17 | 18 min |
| #2 | Rapidzz | 247 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #3 | benchito☆ | 121 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | JS-_- | 93 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #5 | Con | 36 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JS-_- | +1.04 | 72 | 59 |
| #2 | Con | +0.22 | 62 | 48 |
| #3 | slowjazz'n'rain | -0.00 | 73 | 43 |
| #4 | Dev | -0.30 | 54 | 73 |
| #5 | benchito☆ | -0.89 | 55 | 70 |





