








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 181 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 223 matches | ||
| Faceit | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3759 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,648 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4133 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5548 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3895 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4072 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $663,342 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Con D. Oriano | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | slowjazz'n'rain | 55% | 165 |
| #3 | JS-_- | 44% | 25 |
| #4 | benchito☆ | 42% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Con D. Oriano | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | slowjazz'n'rain | 55% | 165 |
| #3 | JS-_- | 44% | 25 |
| #4 | benchito☆ | 42% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slowjazz'n'rain | 14 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | benchito☆ | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | benchito☆ | 143 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | slowjazz'n'rain | 135 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #3 | JS-_- | 125 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #4 | Con D. Oriano | 31 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JS-_- | +1.13 | 72 | 56 |
| #2 | slowjazz'n'rain | +0.30 | 75 | 43 |
| #3 | Dev | +0.05 | 56 | 72 |
| #4 | benchito☆ | -0.77 | 57 | 69 |
| #5 | Con D. Oriano | -1.02 | 72 | 58 |





