








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 85 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 90 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1126 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,678 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 375 | 22% |
| Smokes | 496 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 621 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 186 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $803,801 of utility $300 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Avoxir | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | nic | 75% | 8 |
| #3 | V3nm | 56% | 84 |
| #4 | 𝓬𝒚𝓷𝟗𝒙 ♫ | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | J4NNIk | 51% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | nic | 75% | 8 |
| #3 | V3nm | 56% | 84 |
| #4 | 𝓬𝒚𝓷𝟗𝒙 ♫ | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | J4NNIk | 51% | 39 |
| #6 | Mike S | 48% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mike S | 9 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | V3nm | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | J4NNIk | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Avoxir | 1 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | V3nm | 333 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #2 | Mike S | 224 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | J4NNIk | 81 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Avoxir | 29 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | nic | 28 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Avoxir | +2.35 | 84 | 66 |
| #2 | nic | +2.28 | 64 | 76 |
| #3 | 𝓬𝒚𝓷𝟗𝒙 ♫ | +1.84 | 60 | 51 |
| #4 | J4NNIk | +1.11 | 76 | 61 |
| #5 | V3nm | -0.07 | 62 | 72 |





