








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 452 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3119 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,806 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4029 | 37% |
| Smokes | 3131 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1103 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 2543 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $563,832 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 720 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drizzl | 14 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | Eclipse | 11 | 0.0098 |
| #3 | luka zont1x | 9 | 0.0112 |
| #4 | FayeGaming | 9 | 0.0118 |
| #5 | Red_Two | 4 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Red_Two | 265 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| #2 | Eclipse | 214 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | Drizzl | 177 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | Raccoon | 177 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #5 | FayeGaming | 112 | 0.15 | 3 min |





