








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 249 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 254 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2035 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,120 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1093 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1718 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1602 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1707 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,091,294 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 219 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [!]nc | 54% | 96 |
| #2 | sLug | 54% | 52 |
| #3 | nervousnellie | 53% | 47 |
| #4 | Garbafarbagar | 49% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [!]nc | 54% | 96 |
| #2 | sLug | 54% | 52 |
| #3 | nervousnellie | 53% | 47 |
| #4 | Garbafarbagar | 49% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sLug | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | [!]nc | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | nervousnellie | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Garbafarbagar | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sLug | 315 | 0.31 | 9 min |
| #2 | nervousnellie | 178 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #3 | [!]nc | 160 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | Garbafarbagar | 104 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nervousnellie | +5.03 | 76 | 69 |
| #2 | Garbafarbagar | +4.61 | 81 | 66 |
| #3 | sLug | +1.42 | 60 | 71 |
| #4 | [!]nc | -1.47 | 42 | 58 |
| #5 | Clingnasty | -1.50 | 42 | 37 |





