








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 35 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 79 matches | ||
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3062 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,859 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2149 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2114 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1594 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2002 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $580,033 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Waffe | 77% | 39 |
| #2 | yor1mato | 67% | 88 |
| #3 | ramuss | 65% | 49 |
| #4 | bluek1ng | 63% | 41 |
| #5 | 사나 ♥ | 60% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 사나 ♥ | 10 | 0.0112 |
| #2 | Simon | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Waffe | 5 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | BUI | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | yor1mato | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Simon | 406 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #2 | yor1mato | 360 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #3 | BUI | 261 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #4 | zOru^ | 258 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #5 | Soju. | 238 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nadny ㅋㅋㅋ | +4.32 | 73 | 69 |
| #2 | Waffe | +4.31 | 91 | 41 |
| #3 | bluek1ng | +4.14 | 96 | 52 |
| #4 | SHA | +3.01 | 84 | 63 |
| #5 | yor1mato | +2.56 | 80 | 85 |





