








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 670 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Esplay | 76 matches | 2,181 | |
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2917 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,633 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1880 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2485 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2524 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2744 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $804,464 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 205 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | macke | 73% | 33 |
| #2 | dp | 65% | 62 |
| #3 | ryyD | 63% | 27 |
| #4 | kvarten | 61% | 98 |
| #5 | VetuX | 61% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pan1c | 10 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | dp | 10 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | Melle | 6 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | Nevve | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | kvarten | 3 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kvarten | 371 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #2 | dp | 260 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #3 | Melle | 230 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #4 | PetterssoN | 130 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Nevve | 107 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Melle | +2.65 | 87 | 69 |
| #2 | kvarten | +2.46 | 80 | 63 |
| #3 | dp | +1.79 | 79 | 70 |
| #4 | VetuX | +1.78 | 84 | 68 |
| #5 | Kewster | +1.54 | 67 | 61 |





