








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 560 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Esplay | 49 matches | 2,382 | |
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1658 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,117 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1844 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1615 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1202 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1456 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $369,122 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 219 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nevve | 67% | 36 |
| #2 | Kewster | 65% | 62 |
| #3 | Gh0sT^K | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | Melle | 62% | 79 |
| #5 | kvarten | 59% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Gh0sT^K | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | Melle | 62% | 79 |
| #5 | kvarten | 59% | 59 |
| #6 | ryyD | 58% | 19 |
| #7 | VetuX | 55% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Melle | 12 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | Kewster | 8 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | kvarten | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Nevve | 4 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | VetuX | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Melle | 264 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #2 | kvarten | 171 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | Kewster | 122 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | Nevve | 61 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | VetuX | 60 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gh0sT^K | +2.97 | 92 | 82 |
| #2 | Melle | +2.67 | 84 | 67 |
| #3 | dp | +2.34 | 80 | 70 |
| #4 | kvarten | +2.25 | 76 | 62 |
| #5 | VetuX | +0.54 | 82 | 59 |





