








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 130 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1238 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,179 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1730 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2211 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 758 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 1480 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $350,303 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 123 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thraxity | 45% | 29 |
| #2 | tjhiphop | 44% | 34 |
| #3 | Visions | 40% | 20 |
| #4 | Schnitzel | 38% | 26 |
| #5 | tugboatwilly | 36% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Schnitzel | 38% | 26 |
| #5 | tugboatwilly | 36% | 36 |
| #6 | Sui | 36% | 25 |
| #7 | Mitchell | 30% | 10 |
| #8 | Dustin | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schnitzel | 3 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | Sui | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | tjhiphop | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Thraxity | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Visions | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tjhiphop | 124 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | Sui | 78 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | tugboatwilly | 60 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Thraxity | 44 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Mitchell | 20 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dustin | +2.69 | 77 | 43 |
| #2 | Mitchell | +1.97 | 74 | 66 |
| #3 | Thraxity | +1.75 | 57 | 46 |
| #4 | tjhiphop | +0.21 | 58 | 69 |
| #5 | Topher | -0.38 | 56 | 48 |





