








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 43 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 178 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2204 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,997 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2024 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2931 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1671 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1371 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $455,885 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 153 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shobij | 57% | 21 |
| #2 | RIKqN _I_ | 55% | 124 |
| #3 | CELLtwitch.tv | 53% | 17 |
| #4 | ProMetheus | 50% | 132 |
| #5 | Providence | 45% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | RIKqN _I_ | 55% | 124 |
| #3 | CELLtwitch.tv | 53% | 17 |
| #4 | ProMetheus | 50% | 132 |
| #5 | Providence | 45% | 69 |
| #6 | shikonokonoko | 44% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RIKqN _I_ | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | ProMetheus | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | shikonokonoko | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Providence | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | shobij | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RIKqN _I_ | 431 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | ProMetheus | 341 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | shobij | 114 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| #4 | CELLtwitch.tv | 77 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #5 | shikonokonoko | 75 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RIKqN _I_ | +1.17 | 74 | 68 |
| #2 | ProMetheus | +0.99 | 64 | 60 |
| #3 | shikonokonoko | -0.17 | 40 | 54 |
| #4 | MiSF1T | -0.28 | 66 | 68 |
| #5 | CELLtwitch.tv | -0.38 | 37 | 52 |





