








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 143 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 617 matches | ||
| Faceit | 49 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5971 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,524 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5707 | 22% |
| Smokes | 7410 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 6998 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 5409 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,691,392 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 167 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | R3alkeepr | 49% | 189 |
| #5 | Schniedel Castro | 49% | 167 |
| #6 | tilted Tommy Blaze | 47% | 47 |
| #7 | Timo | 46% | 224 |
| #8 | ☆ Fiftylaren ☆ | 45% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AtiusTirawa™ | 38 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | R3alkeepr | 22 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | Schniedel Castro | 14 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Timo | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | don_kantholz | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AtiusTirawa™ | 1720 | 0.14 | 37 min |
| #2 | R3alkeepr | 499 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #3 | Schniedel Castro | 335 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | Timo | 290 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #5 | don_kantholz | 273 | 0.18 | 8 min |





